The Walking Dead - Season 4 Episode 1 - 30 Days Without an Accident

It's been hard for me to get back in the swing of things with TV recaps.  This time of year, I go from writing zero recaps to keeping up with two per week!  But they are one of the biggest visited pages on my site, so it looks like someone is reading them.  So I'm nearly a week behind on The Walking Dead but I promise to get this week's recap up on the same night that the episode airs.

An undisclosed amount of time after we last checked in with the prison, Rick and the group are thriving.  They've got a nice little garden going, while the zombies still watch from the gate.  When are these bitches finally going to die?  Do they have an expiration date like in 28 Days Later? Rick is listening to an iPod, God knows how he's keeping that charged.  They also have a pig that they are raising for food, which may or may not be sick.

Apparently people are still being brought in left and right, in addition to the folks that came from Woodbury originally.  Some nerdy kid calls Daryl "Mr. Dixon" and "Sir."  Carol tries to stake her claim on her mancandy, now that there are several other ladies around for Daryl to choose from.  There are people working at the fence, and their job is to just repeatedly stab the zombies that come up to the perimeter.  Carol is concerned about the amount of walkers that have gathered.

Maggie and Glen -- still going strong.  Glen -- getting a little overprotective of Maggie.  He doesn't want her to go on today's run, and she reluctantly agrees to stay.  Tyrese has a new love interest, but he's done stabbing the zombies on the fence, and wants to go on the run instead.  Beth has a cutiepie love interest as well.  A new guy, who's name I totally missed, volunteers to go on the run as well. Michonne on a freakin' horse!  YES.  She's apparently on a tireless search for the Governor, and living at the prison very sparingly.

Herschel lectures Rick on bringing his gun when he leaves the prison. A short time later, Rick goes wandering about, and runs into a strange woman.  She pleads for help with dragging a dead animal back to her husband, but really just wants to come back to the prison.  We learn that now newcomers get asked three questions before they get a chance to come back: how many walkers have you killed? How many people have you killed? Why?

This time the run is taking place at a superstore, which was previously overrun by zombies.  But the quick-thinking prison residents put a boombox nearby to draw them out.  Sasha has turned into a total badass, while Tyrese is still a little wishywashy.  New guy struggles with the decision to sneak some wine, and while he tries to make the right choice, he topples over an entire display, attracting the walkers that are hanging out on the roof.  Just when you thought there could be no more new ways for walkers to appear, they fall through the roof like rain!  A zombie battle ensues, and they lose Beth's boytoy, narrowly escaping as the roof starts to completely cave in.

After what seems like an episode-long stroll through the woods, Rick finally reaches this weird lady's camp, where she immediately tries to kill him!  It turns out this chick's husband is a walker, and she kept him "alive," and wanted to feed Rick to him.  Rick is having none of that.  She is now going to kill herself, and begs Rick not to "end it" after she becomes a zombie, so that she can be with her zombie husband.  Ummmm, cray cray.

Back at the prison, Carol is using storytime as a cover for teaching the kids zombie survival skills.  Good on you, Carol.  The nerdy kid feels nauseous and has to leave, but Carl hides behind a bookshelf to observe the lesson.  Carol spots him and fears he will tell Rick.  Tyrese is a whiny little bitch about making runs as well.  Maggie tells Glenn she's not pregnant and both are happy.  But she thinks they could have kids in the future.  Daryl breaks the news about Beth's boytoy and she doesn't cry, but resets the "days without an accident" calendar.  She gives Daryl a much-needed hug.  Meanwhile, Michonne studies a map of Georgia.  The nerdy kid is sick with something and dies in the showers, releasing a zombie right into the middle of the prison!

Day 9 (2012 short film)

Anyone who knows me is aware that I am a huge supporter of independent horror.  There is no movie I won't watch, and review objectively, of course ;)  I haven't reviewed too many short films, but I got hooked up with Day 9 through a friend and I'm happy to check it out.  This film is brought to us by up and coming New Jersey filmmaker Tom Ryan.

It's important to take independent and low-budget films with a grain of salt, as I feel many reviewers do not.  Just like The Scream Queen isn't as slick, awesome, and full of up to date information as Dread Central, independent films can't rival the effects of a Michael Bay film.  I really enjoy the grittiness and creativity of an independent film more than the theater-run movies anyway.

Day 9 is basically about the first nine days of a zombie apocalypse, like a scaled-down 28 Days Later.  A couple, Tom and Melanie, are excited to spend a weekend alone while their kids are with the grandparents.  Unfortunately, this weekend is the beginning of a zombie infection, and subsequent apocalypse.  Tom and his wife must fight to survive an invasion that they are very much unprepared for.

I've played a zombie before in an independent show, and I know how hard it is to stay energetic and in character.  The zombies in this movie were really into it and made for some good action shots.
The sound in this movie was actually pretty great for an indie, and I liked the background rock music (provided by Tom's band, Vlad the Inhaler). The only thing that was a little tough on my ears (and laptop speakers) was the kind of grinding/alarm-y interlude sound, which I think they could have dropped.

I liked this flick overall and it worked really well as a short instead of a full length movie.  Everything was really blue-collar realistic, instead of people that are randomly armed to the teeth once the zombie apocalypse hits.  I can't say I was in love with the ending (I would have rather been left hanging a bit) but I'm looking forward to seeing more from this independent filmmaker.

The Walking Dead - Season 3 Episode 5

I know that the weird town that Andrea and Michonne are living in is called Woodbury, but I'd rather call it Twin Peaks.  I think that reasonably portrays the creepiness of this place.  Andrea is settling right in and having a picnic but Michonne is still so fucking pissed.  Philip is brushing a little girl zombie's hair.  Ooops, it's his daughter.  No big deal, right?  Michonne sees and she's like this place is officially crazypants.

Rick is going nuts and running through the prison killing zombies.  Daryl is like holy crap the baby needs to eat and it can't eat squirrels and stuff.  He and Maggie make a run for formula.  Glen and Maggie are the most adorable couple on the planet.  AMC, please don't kill these two off. 

Michonne goes looking for her katana, which has been the single thing she has been concerned with since the moment she arrived in Twin Peaks.  She finds it in Philip's office, along with some other interesting things, including a weird book with names.  She also spots some zombie prisoners, kills them, and sneaks away just as someone arrives to feed them. 

Michonne returns to Andrea and gives her one last chance to leave with her.  Andrea, in all her terrible judgement, is actually like, I still want to stay here.  Michonne walks away.  I'm sure we'll all run into her again.

Daryl and Maggie are searching a daycare for supplies, and Daryl is wearing a poncho!  Seriously!  He catches a possum and they get the formula.  Double score.  The baby is saved for now, but Rick is absolutely no help as he continues to completely lose his shit. 

Philip invites Andrea to a little get-together.  Seems like a nice little community gathering, but it's actually Merle fighting a dude with a barrier of zombies around them.   Andrea's all, um, I think it's a little too late to try to catch up with Michonne. 

Daryl puts a Cherokee rose on one of the graves, so we're supposed to think Carol is dead?  Did they actually find her?  The baby is crying, Rick is having a tantrum, and a freakin phone is ringing?!  Is this the only working phone in the zombie apocalypse?!?!?

The Walking Dead Season 3 Episode 4

**SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS**

I feel really sad for the two inmates that Rick won't allow into the group.  I mean, come on, you've lost a lot of people and I don't think including two additional people would kill you.  But wait!  There are more inmates.  They are trying to lead the zombies somewhere.  Herschel is tired of looking at the top of the bunk, so he's up and about on crutches.  I like how before, at the farm, he was always bossing everyone around, and now he has pretty much no say in anything.  Rick and Daryl run this show now.

Back to Woodbury, where Michonne and the Governor are talking.  She hates most everyone, but she seems to have a particular distaste for this dude.  She really wants to leave, but Andrea's like come on, let's just chill for a little while and rest up.  I'm thinking she just wants the D.

Oh no!  An alarm is going off and attracting zombies from what seems like miles around.  The prison group gets overrun by zombies and T-Dog gets bitten!!  T-Dog, NOOOOO!  Everyone gets split up as they fight for their lives.  T-Dog throws himself at a group of zombies so that Carol can get away.  T-Dog, over and out :(  The inmates who desperately want to join the group help Rick out by killing a rogue inmate.  They're all, let us hang out with you now, plsthx. 

Back in Twin Peaks, Andrea is learning more about the governor.  His wife died 18 months before the apocalypse, and his name is Philip.  She's practically drooling.  Merle wants to go find Daryl, but the Governor/Philip believes that a random location of a farm is not enough reason to go traipsing about.  
Meanwhile, Lori is running with Carl and Maggie, and she's like, I'm having the baby right fucking now.  Maggie's like oh no, we need Carol.  Lori's all, this baby isn't going to wait.  She wants to push, but there's blood everywhere.  She interprets this as needing a C-section.  Guess she's an obstetrician now.  It's cool though, because she has a C-section scar from last time, so Maggie can totally just follow that.  Maggie's all, I'm not a doctor, and you're probably going to peace out for good if I start slicing you up.  I get the feeling Lori wasn't too psyched about continuing to live anyway.  She gives a heartfelt speech to Carl.

OMG it's a living breathing baby and not a zombie!  Maggie carries it out to Rick while Carl shoots his now-zombie mom.  Rick is FREAKING  out.  Great acting job.  I actually teared up a little.   Everyone assumes Carol is dead, just like they did with Andrea.  Thank goodness we have Daryl, because it looks like Rick is about to absolutely lose his shit. 

The Walking Dead Season 3 Episode 3

Well, in case you haven't seen the internet or a television lately, it's been a pretty crazy week on the east coast.  I was spared from any direct damage from Hurricane Sandy, but things were pretty much shut down here in the Big Apple.  I'm happy to see so many people volunteering in all the boroughs, and Scream King and I took some of the money we would have spent at the bar today and went and donated a bunch of toiletries.

So the side effect of all this craziness is that I'm slightly behind on my Walking Dead recaps.  Sorry.  But better late than never, and let's get to episode three, which told us absolutely nothing about what's going on in the prison, which made me a little sad.  Not that I don't care about Andrea, but I don't think a quick check in would have hurt.  But here we go.

We've got a helicopter and some army dudes about to go splat.  Andrea and Michonne view the crash from afar.  I just adore how those zombie carry their bags.  A bunch of guys in trucks pull up to check on the crash.  I feel bad but I sort of forgot Andrea was kind of dying.  She wants to show themselves and get some medical treatment and maybe some of these cute boys.  Michonne says no like always.  Until her pet zombies start making a bit of a scene.  Then she kills them like NBD!

Holy crap, Merle is freakin' back!!  He has some sort of bionic bayonet arm!  SWEET.  Michonne and Andrea get blindfolded and put in some sort of transportation.  They are in a nice place, where Andrea is getting medication, but they want out.  Merle enters, and he and Andrea do a little catching up.  They meet the "governor" and it turns out there's this whole little town here.  They can have a room, fresh clothes, food, and a shower.  What is the freakin' catch I wonder?

Why does this guy want more people in the community?  Like he's going out and seeking them out?  Wouldn't he want to stretch their resources?  We find out that this community is surrounded by barriers and armed guards, and they haven't been breached in a month.  There's a strict curfew, with no one allowed out after dark.  Some nerd in the lab is studying Michonne's zombies.  Since she hacked off their jaws, they've lost interest in eating, yet are slowly starving to death.  He wants to talk to Michonne.  The governor doesn't think that's such a hot idea.

Andrea seems to be settling in well enough, and I'm wondering if she's thinking sleeping with the governor dude might be to her advantage.  Michonne sounds like a broken record: "We want our weapons back!"  Who cares if this is some sort of crazy cult...rest up for a few days, ladies!

"My shit never stopped being together."

WTF?  Governor took those army guys out for no apparent reason.  What is his motivation?  Andrea asks the Governor his real name and he won't give it.  He says he has a lot of long days at work.  Apparently after his long days, he likes to sit with an adult beverage in a room full of floating zombie heads!  I just prefer Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, but to each their own.  One of the heads is the pilot that they were "trying so hard to save."  WTF?!  Until Sunday night!

The Cabin in the Woods (2011)

Finally I'm seeing this movie.  I first wrote about this back in 2009 and it's since been delayed for a variety of reasons.  But finally I have it on Blu Ray and I am excited!  All I keep hearing about this movie is: "It's awesome, but it's just so fucking weird."  So I have learned exactly nothing about this movie from anyone I have asked.

Note to oblivious guys, girls never prance around in front of an open window in their panties, and we certainly don't forget we're not wearing pants in the presence of their friend's boyfriend.  Also, this pothead makes stoners more annoying than funny.  So, we've got two scenarios -- a bunch of people in a fancy science lab, and a bunch of college students off for a weekend in the woods.  A curmudgeonly old man warns the group about the house, but they don't take it seriously, of course.  The house looks like a replica from The Evil Dead, which I'm sure was intended.  I'm expecting this film to be chock-full of nods to the horror genre. 

I guess the little catch to this whole vacation is that the inhabitants are being watched by these crazy science people.  They also seem to be quite involved with the co-eds, being able to make changes to the environment, and their physiology from afar.  After a game of Truth or Dare, the group finds a basement full of weird crap.  After reading a diary out loud, a family of redneck devil worshippers rise from the dead.  Side note: the blonde in this movie (Jules) is a total hoebag.  And the stoner (Marty) continues to annoy the crap out of me.  Dana and Holden would make a cute couple though.

So as the group is forced to run for their lives, the observers watch from afar, and with great interest.  This is much more than a reality show-type gig, and way different than the voyeuristic slant of the Saw movies.

I don't want to give any more of the plot away, because it's just too much fun.  I kind of freakin' loved this movie.  I adored the little nods to other horror films, squealed with delight over the "purge" scene, gasped at the "cubes" and just liked overall premise of the movie.  The special effects were fantastic, and the actors played right into their stereotypes.  Sure, the ending wasn't that great, but I'm not sure where else it would have gone from there.  Not only was this a fun homage to the genre, but a tongue-in-cheek social commentary of our nation's obsession with reality television.  LOVED it. 

The Walking Dead Season 3 Episode 2

There's a lot going on in this season of The Walking Dead.  I read that someone said the other day that Season 2 moved liked a Romero zombie, and Season 3 is straight-up 28 Days Later.  At the end of last season, Herschel's leg was getting hacked off and the crew spotted other people living in the prison.  These crazy prisoners have been living in the cafeteria for 10 months?!  They have absolutely zero idea what is going on outside.  Rick demands that they share their food and go live in another cellblock.  Harsh.

Um, also, how freakin' awesome is it that Adam Banjo from The Devil's Rejects is in this ep?!

When Rick tries to "transfer" the prisoners to a different cellblock, they run into some more walkers, and obviously the prisoners have no clue how to kill them.  One dude gets bit and this huge guy that sort of looks like the psycho from The Longest Yard kills him mercilessly.  Oh well, sometimes you have to do that.  However, you do not throw a zombie on Rick!  This is not a democracy anymore, motherfucker.  Rick splits a bitch up with a machete so that everyone knows he is not to be fucked with.

Meanwhile, Herschel is kinda dying.  You can't really just hack someone's leg off and expect it to be okay.  The fear is, of course, is that Herschel will die and come back and attack everyone.  So he needs to be handcuffed to the cot, and Glen gets assigned to kill him if he comes back.   Carol is not so concerned about Herschel, but really just worried about how she's going to help Lori deliver the baby with the minimal information that Herschel has given her.  Therefore, she takes off to practice a C-section on a female zombie.  She is a strange bird.

Lori admits that she's a shitty wife and not winning any mother of the year awards.  You don't say, Lori?  I mean, I would have totally wanted to sleep with Shane too, but I probably would have waited until my husband had been presumably dead for more than...ohhhh a few days?!  And I would have used protection, for chrissake.  Glen has been the only one on this show smart enough to pick up some condoms.  Even Andrea banged Shane and she's lucky she's avoided his zombie bastard child thus far.

Carl takes off to find the infirmary and returns with supplies.  Instead of saying thanks, Lori bitches him out for traipsing off without a buddy.  Herschel dies.  That's sad.  Oh, wait.  Lori does CPR and he wakes up as a human.  So, Herschel lives to fight another day.   And no Andrea and Michonne this week. 

The Walking Dead Season 3 - Episode 1

The Walking Dead is back!  Yippee!  Several months have passed and Lori is hugely pregnant.  Also, Rick fucking hates Lori.  Like he clearly can't even stand to look at her.  But with Shane gone, Rick has taken his alpha male status and it is sexxaayy.  Also, Daryl appears to be his second-in-command, which is even more awesome.  Carol is no longer wishy-washy and actually seems to kick ass.  Herschel is tired, Maggie is awesome, and Glen is still awesome Glen.  T-Dog still isn't getting enough play, and one of the farm people are there, but I have no idea what her name is.  The quiet blonde one.  Carl is apparently trusted with a gun now, and shoots zombies freely.  So let's recap!

Apparently the group has been traveling around for months, mostly just making their way from house to house.  But now Lori's about to pop and they need to find a place to settle down.  They come across a jail, which is surrounding by inmate zombies, but they're able to find a way in, in no small part to everyone's awesome shooting skills.  They're very excited to have some space and protection and not constantly be on the run.  Daryl jokes about "Baby Shane" eating too much.  LoL!  Do him and Carol finally have something going on?  Maybe she's not such a doormat because she's getting some redneck D.  Good on you, Carol.

This campfire singalong is pretty lame.  And is Carl still wearing that stupid hat?  Give it a rest.  Rick understands that everyone's exhausted, but not really, because they're going to infiltrate the prison tomorrow.  This is like Oregon Trail when you push your people on meager rations and aggressive speed and everyone dies.  He really has absolutely zero patience for Lori and thinks she should feel lucky that he even stayed with her skinny cheating butt.

They split up to enter the prison, hoping to take on the zombies outside.  There's some SERIOUS zombie hand-to-hand combat.  Daryl is still the most badass but Maggie will cut a bitch for real.

They finally find a secure cellblock and move in for the time being.  Herschel is none too happy that Carl was about to bunk with Beth (thattt's the blonde's name).  Glen checks Maggie for scratches and I go all squeeee inside.  Carol and Lori are having a slumber party because obvs Rick isn't going to share a cell with her.  Daryl sleeps in the hall because he's "not going to be locked in no cage."  Awesome.

I almost forgot about the lady with the armless zombies (Michonne).  Her and Andrea have been hanging out for a while, but now Andrea's sick and wants her to leave her to die.  Noooo, Andrea!  LIVE!  Lori's afraid that her fetus is a zombie.  She also fears she will die during childbirth, thus becoming a zombie and killing her baby.  Woah, pregnancy hormones.

The men, and Maggie of course, take off to explore the prison.  There's no electricity, so they're going by flashlights.  They're attacked by walkers, and Herschel is injured.  Boy, Rick's heart is just stone cold, and he is running on pure adrenaline.  Hacking off Herschel's leg like five seconds after he got bit?  Holy crap.

And the cliffhanger for next week?  Daryl goes to shoot some "walkers" that are actually humans!!  Looks like they've made some new friends.  Until next Sunday. 

The Walking Dead - Season 2: Episode 11

**Programming note: I think I'm going to start tagging TV episodes as recaps instead of reviews.  These things are chock full of spoilers and describe the whole episode, so recap it is** 

Carl usually isn't my jam, but given that I'm going to see him at the Monster Mania Convention this weekend, and there are only two Episode 11 pictures available online, we'll go with this shot over a lame one of Dale.

We open up with Darryl kicking the crap out of Randall.  I love to see old-school badass Darryl.  He tells of the group he was with, 30 in all, with men that apparently ran around raping and scavenging.  He claims to be different.  Darryl does not seem convinced.  He relays the message to Rick, who decides they're just going to kill the kid, thus "removing the threat."  Dale wants to make a whole trial and discussion about it, and Rick agrees to give him until sunset.

Andrea (apparently a former civil rights lawyer) comes out with, "who says we're civilized anymore?"  Love it.  She's growing on me.  Dale assigns her to watch Randall, which she's not crazy about, but agrees to.  Shane and Andrea apparently have a sexypants alliance.  Love that as well.  Carl is starting to look really Children of the Corn in that ridiculous hat.  Dale tries to preach to Darryl, who is now living on his own in a tent.  Is Rick seriously thinking about hanging the dude?  That seems inefficient.  Lori is losing about 10 pounds an episode.  How are we supposed to buy her pregnancy?

Carl bitches out Carol.  What has gotten into that little brat?!  Then Carol bitches out Lori.  AWESOME.  Rick tells Carl less talking, more thinking.  I wish he would just tell him to STFU.  Dale thinks Herschel is on his side, but he is incorrect.  Herschel doesn't want his precious virginal girls being corrupted and he'd be happy to see Randall dead.

Carl continues his day of shenanigans and goes poking around Darryl's campsite.  This kid needs some discipline.  You know how they say sociopaths start as kids by torturing small animals?  Apparently in the zombie apocalypse, sociopaths get their kicks by throwing rocks at zombies who are stuck in the mud.  I hope he gets loose and has this little punk as an afternoon snack.

Dale and Shane butt heads again.  Yawn.  Ooooh, Glenn!  It's been awhile.  I'd appreciate some banging in this episode.  Herschel grills Glenn about his race, then waxes poetic about his wife, and his drinking days.  Cue awkward conversation about Maggie.  He even gives Glenn a family heirloom.  WEIRD.  Is he still going to kick everyone out?  Just let Glenn stay?  So many questions.

Carl, that is what you get for teasing a zombie.  I hope Darryl knocks some sense into you for stealing his gun, which is now lost.  Sorry you don't have Sophia to play with anymore, but that does not give you permission to be a douchebag.  Okay, back to the Randall thing.  I understand they're worried about this group of people, but how would he contact them?  Smoke signals?  I'm confused about that part.  I feel like they're going to get back to the barn and find out he escaped.

Nope, they've got the poor kid tied up and he's off for his execution.  Rick is starting to scare me a little.  If he's trying to have a hardass contest with Shane, he may be winning.  Ooooops, he can't bring himself to shoot Randall when Carl walks in.  Especially since Michael Myers Jr. eggs him on.  Lori has her typical wet blanket reactions, while Andrea rushes off to tell Dale the good news.  A zombie attacks Dale, and while Darryl arrives with the awesome, it's a little too late.  Meanwhile, this is 100 percent little Carl's fault, since he taunted that zombie in the mud until it got loose.  Poor Dale.  He was starting to get on my nerves, but I certainly never wished death on him!  RIP.

Next week?  Does Randall get loose?  Holy crap.  Rick is set to prove Dale wrong about the whole "group being broken" thing.  Andrea and Shane ride in a car together again.  Hopefully this results in sex.  Only two episodes left this season!

The Walking Dead - Season 2: Episode 8

Shane's my boy right now, so he's the only picture going on this blog post.  The outlanders of the farm shot all the barn zombies and no one living there is happy.  Get a clue, people.  Andrea is getting her shit together and some writers are setting up Daryl and Carol to bang.  Herschel is kicking everyone out and Glen/Maggie are sad.  Rightfully so.  She belongs more with Rick's group than anything.

There's a little funeral for people that everyone loved and all the other walkers get burned.  Rick looks extra sexy in this second half of the season and I'm hoping they're setting him up to leaving annoying bitch Lori.  She thinks he's making Carl "cold."  Seriously lady?!  This is a world full of death and destruction.  Someone ready to shoot an intruder would be an improvement here.

Shane looks sexy taking a little bath at the water pump.  Carol is mourning her zombie child.  Herschel goes missing and a wayward flask makes everyone think he's at the town bar.  A road trip is in order.  They take a car instead of horses.  Good call.  Glen is sad, Rick is foxy.  Glen admits to getting the morning after pills, and Rick already knew -- scandal!!  Darryl bitches out Lori and I am in loveeee.  Herschel is predictably in the bar getting sloshed.  You know that's where you'd find Scream Queen at ;)  Well that or in Shane's bed.  Me-ow.  

Lori looks all suburban mom driving in her Taurus to find Rick.  She behaves stupidly as usual. Herschel is drunk and combative.    Ahhh!!  Rene from True Blood and some fat dude show up.  We definitely need more characters on this nonsense.  These guys beg to get let into the farm for food and chicks.  Rick and Herschel are not having it.  I get distracted wondering who Rene would hook up with.  Holy crap, Rick has gotten hard.  Starting to think Rick and Shane are on the same page and I'm lovin' it.  Sexy law enforcement all around, ladies. 

No preview this week?  Instead I have to watch Kevin Smith for 30 seconds?  Unacceptable.

Bloodlust Zombies (2011)

Alexis Texas.  What a cool name.  Who is this person?  Oh, a porn star and model.  Apparently she plays someone called "Buttwoman."  TP for my bunghole?  I am so immature.  Whatever, she is pretty though.  And apparently going the Zombie Strippers/Jenna Jamieson route, and making the foray into horror movies.

In a vague rip-off of the beginning of 28 Days Later, Blooodlust Zombies starts with a lab testing some chemical weapons, this time on cats instead of monkeys.  But they catch the rage all the same.  Everyone in the office celebrates this as a major victory, so obviously that's what they were aiming for.  The next ten minutes plays out pretty much like a porn, fully utilizing the talents of Miss Alexis Texas, as she dons some cowboy regalia and bounces atop some crusty C-level guy.  Unfortunately, she hits the intercom button, and the entire office hears the details of their ridiculous tryst.  While imitating the bumping and grinding, two lab technicians knock over some vials, and in the midst of the cleanup, accidentally let loose an infected cat.

The "angry pussy" as the dorks put it, scratches another employee, and we all know how this kind of thing goes.  The rage/zombie infection/whatever is spreading and I'm guessing a porn star is slated to be the savior of these poor suckers.  Everyone in this movie is so incredibly stupid, and their horrible acting seems intentional.  There's the bumbling security guard (Dan Lantz), the douchey corporate horndog (Adam Danoff), the nerdy-yet-hot temp (Lauren Todd), the executive ice queen (Janice Marie), and the office hottie (Alexis Texas).  Some incredibly unscary zombies (they call them mutants) prance about the office complex, while the regular people do a pretty bad job of fighting them off.

This was supposed to be a horror comedy, and there were some parts that made me giggle a bit.  Alexis herself clearly realizes that her acting is pornstar-cheesy and she seems to just go with it.  This movie was a pretty standard low-budget zombie ripoff, but if you like B-movies and porn stars adding their nakedness to a movie for no apparent reason, then Bloodlust Zombies might be worth a watch for you.

The Walking Dead Season 2 Episode 7

So for some reason I totally missed the memo that The Walking Dead is going to be on hiatus until February.  Seriously, February??  I don't usually get too attached to shows, but I'm going to miss this nonsense on Sunday nights.

As previewed last week, Rick is begging Herschel to the point of embarrassment.  At this point, why don't they just take over the farm?  I mean I understand they're trying to be nice and considerate, but these are a house-full of people that have never killed a zombie or left the little bubble of their precious farm.  They are totally useless.  Glenn, unable to keep the secret any longer, tells the group about the barn zombies.  This infuriates Maggie, who cracks an egg on his head.  Waste of an egg if you ask me.

Darryl recovers from his injuries incredibly quickly and sets out to look for Sophia.  However, even her mom is losing hope at this point that girlfriend is going to be found alive, if at all.  This frustrates Darryl.  Andrea has done a complete 180 and is now the most helpful of the bunch, sharpening knives, mastering weapons and volunteering for everything.  She's just about to set off with Rick when they are interrupted by Herschel, who needs help.
  
Rick takes off with Herschel.  Oh, Herschel.  You have seriously lost your shit.  Apparently when zombies come wandering around the farm, they capture them like stray dogs instead of shooting them.  Much time is spent rounding up the two zombies and herding them back towards the barn.


This episode brings the firestorm we've all been waiting for.  Dale incites Shane by taking the guns and hiding them.  Shane has other plans, looking to arm the group and stage a rebellion.  Dale threatens to shoot Shane, which we all know he doesn't have the balls to do.  The entire group spots Rick and Herschel wrangling zombies and this is the last straw for their fragile community.  Challenging Herschel's claim that they are just "sick people," Shane shoots a zombie repeatedly (not in the head) and the thing just keeps on coming.  Why, Herschel, could you say these things were sick if they could keep lunging at you after being pumped full of bullets?!

Herschel says "that's enough."  Shane agrees, and puts a bullet in the zombie's head.  He breaks down the door to the barn, and the zombie-killing group stands like a firing squad as the zombies exit en masse.  Herschel watches in shock as they gun down all of his family and friends.  However, in the background, Maggie encourages Glenn to shoot.  There's mostly silence after the shooting, but we hear a small moan.  One more zombie left?  Yep, and no other than Sophia herself.  Some said this was predictable, but I found it to be pretty surprising.  The emotions were covered very well, as most of the group stands like a deer in headlights, or breaks down hysterically.  Rick challenges Shane's claim that he's getting soft by marching right towards Sophia and ending her life. 

And now we can think on that for the next two months.  Great mid-season finale.

Wicked Little Things (2006)

When this movie first started, I was all ughhhhhh boring historical stuff.  Then I was all squeeeeeee Chloe Moretz is so freakin' cute!  Soooo, par for the course.  Wicked Little Things is about a widow, Karen (Lori Heuring) and her two children, Sarah (Scout Taylor-Compton) and Emma (Chloe Moretz) who move to the woods of Pennsylvania after their husband/father's death.  This would seem completely bizarre except for the fact that apparently it's a family house that's all paid for and such.  Free house = good times.  I mean, I probably would have made a cautionary visit to the house before bringing my freakin' kids here to live permanently, but maybe that's just me.  This movie's barely started and I've already decided the mom is a dipshit.

Blah blah blah, no electricity and water, and holy crap, it's Roy Sullivan from The Devil's Rejects!  All the pipes need to be replaced and this basically seems to be The Money Pit of horror movies.  The family soon discovers that they live near an old mine where a bunch of kids were killed in a cave-in.  But wait, they're still somewhat alive, and are actually zombies.  Oooooppps.  Child zombies = teh awesome!!  Just when I was missing The Walking Dead!

You can say what you want about Scout Taylor-Compton and her movie choices, but gottttdammmn girl's gotta set of lungs on her.  She'll never be short on work in the horror film industry.  Cinematography is this flick is gorgeous, and, having been to the Poconos, I actually thought it was filmed in the state of Pennsylvania.  But like several horror movies as of late, Wicked Little Things was filmed in Bulgaria!

The kid zombies are creepy, but fairly slow-moving and not scary.  This movie drags out for longer than I would have hoped for....there's a lot of standing around and speculating when I would have liked some axes to the head.  However, there is some great acting here and it's certainly not a lost cause.  Worth a look if you like creepy-ass zombies, and c'mon, who doesn't?

The Walking Dead Season 2 Episode 4 (2011)

Lottttaaaa stuff going on in this week's episode of The Walking Dead, aptly titled "Cherokee Rose."  Herchel warns the group that their time on the farm is limited, and that once Carl is up and about and Sophia is recovered, he expects that they'll mosey on down the road.  That's unfortunate. 

The gang is trying to help out around the farm, which mostly seems to consist of piling rocks on Otis's grave, and pumping water out of a well.  Otis's "funeral" is sort of ridiculous, as Shane makes up stories about his heroism, when we all know that he shot his fat ass and left him for a zombie snack.

Dale and T-Dog make amends and cast aside all that nonsense that T-Dog was spouting when running a high fever.  Dale proves that he's gotten past it, by narrowly saving him from drinking zombie-infested water.  What happened, you may ask?  Apparently a weird bloated zombie fell in the well.  They send down some ham on a hook, but decide that live bait would be more effective.  Of course, poor Glen is volunteered for the job, and predictably, the rope breaks, leaving Glen in a precarious situation.  All of this work was so that they could take the zombie out in one piece, therefore purifying the water.  Um, what?  The zombie was already IN the water.  Can you boil zombie germs out of water?  This whole idea was so incredibly stupid.  The zombie gets broken into pieces anyway and that well is done.  If Glen died over this, I would have had to smack a bitch.

Meanwhile, the search for Sophia resumes.  Seriously this plot point has been going on for wayyyy too long.  This stupid girl wandered off three episodes ago.  Let it go people.  But instead, they leave a note and food on the car, leaving Darryl to once again attempt to save the day.  As per usual, Carol just cries and whines instead of actually helping.  While hunting the wandering moron, Darryl finds evidence that she's alive.  Seriously, how quickly does this chick move?  Apparently she's within like a 2 mile radius, but an entire group of people can't find her.  WTF?  However, Darryl is becoming my favorite person on this show, and he also keeps getting exponentially hotter.  Yay, Darryl.

Meanwhile, Rick assigns Glen and Maggie to go into town.  I am starting to like Rick more and I think he knows about Glen's crush and is trying to hook a brother up.  Good on you, Rick.  Lori gives Glen a special item to pick up for her in the "feminine hygiene aisle."  I gross my husband out by insisting she has a yeast infection.  I will be proven incorrect.  Glen snatches the special item, but is also busted by Maggie when he grabs some condoms.  LoL!  But maybe not so busted after all, because Maggie is totally DTF.  YES!  We need more lovin' on this show.  However, afterwards, she dashes Glen's hopes by saying it's a one-time thing.  I wouldn't speak so soon, lady, as your options are looking a little limited.

Lori's secret item is a pregnancy test.  MWAHAAHAHAA.  There's no Maury show in the zombie apocalypse, and she's never going to know who the Daddy is.  Also, this gets me to thinking about the results of any banging on this show.  Clearly no one left the house with their birth control pills, and I'm going to doubt anyone is packing too many condoms.  So babies of the apocalypse may be the result.  Hmmmmm.

Ending the show on a sentimental note, Darryl brings Carol a "Cherokee Rose" and tells a sad story about them blooming from the tears of sad mothers.  Maybe this will spur Carol to actually assist in the search of her daughter?  Doubtful.  Darryl is now my favorite person on this show, with Shane a close second, if only for sexiness.  I still love Rick, however secretly hope he cheats on Lori, because I just can't stand her and I think she's going to try and play both Rick and Shane for fools.  I mean what was with that "stay" comment?  Just pick a man and commit to him, you vindictive bitch.  Ugh.

Night of the Little Dead (2011)

"If I can kill a god, I can sure as shit kill a monster."

They always give Bill Moseley the best lines in movies (see Evil Bong) obviously just for the fact that he is one of the coolest motherfuckers to ever walk the earth.  Night of the Little Dead has been on my radar for a while, and I was excited to see the full length version (only 11 minutes long) posted online today.

Midget zombies, Bill Moseley, Penn Jillette, Adam Savage, beer and fishing lure?  It really doesn't get much better than that.  NOTLD is about a group of fisherman sitting around a bar, and coming in and out for the actual fishing.  One pair rushes back in, bleeding profusely and running from a tiny zombie.  The war is on between the bar patrons and the little monster, with Bill Moseley (Kickstand) leading the pack.  There's blood, screaming, beer drinking, and some awesome zombie-chopping.  A fun ending rounded this one out.  Full of campiness and worth a watch.  Enjoy!

The Walking Dead Season 2 - Episode 3

I am officially obsessed with Shane.  When he was shaving his head in the bathroom I nearly died.  It's definitely a good look for him.  Also, I don't think my husband is going to watch this show with me anymore, because when I'm not lusting over Shane, I'm lamenting about why Andrea and Daryl haven't banged yet.  You know that shit is just bound to happen.  All this hotness is just detracting me from the zombies, which is the point of this show.

*Spoilers ahead as per usual!*  Carl continues to die, but now wakes up occasionally and has seizures.  Rick wants to give him more blood, but he's already pretty weak from all the donations he's been doing.  Is NO ONE in this house O negative?  Seriously I find this very hard to believe. 

T-Dog and Glenn make the hike to the doctor's house to get some treatment for T-Dog's messed-up arm.  Dale refuses to leave the RV that he's strangely attached to, and Andrea and Daryl go to search for Sophia, while Carol cries and sobs and just generally doesn't help anybody. 

Otis and Shane are running from the zombies at the school, and once again, it was stupid to bring a fat dude on this excursion.  Shane is sort of adopting an attitude of every man for himself, and I guess that's what happens when you bang your friend's wife and then also try to rape her.  I'm having a lot of conflict regarding Shane because he's so sexy but also just sort of heartless as well.  Long story short, Otis is zombie chow and Shane gets the respirator back to dying Carl. 

I've also thought that skinny bitch Lori was pretty unlikeable, and she gets even worse in this episode.  As her son starts to slip away and her husband gives basically all his blood to him, she muses about how maybe the kid would be better off dead.  Um, wtf?  Maybe you would be better off dead, Lori.

Of course they weren't going to let Carl croak on this show, so he inevitably gets saved.  Meanwhile little Sophia is still missing, but Andrea and Daryl find an awesome hanging zombie.  Andrea is annoying me a little less in this episode, and Daryl is becoming a pretty hot redneck.  Liked this episode, and looking forward to next week. 

P.S. For Walking Dead recaps that are even more snarky than mine, check out Lainey Gossip which literally makes me LoL!

The Walking Dead Season 2 (2011 TV Series) Episode 1

I feel like The Walking Dead is sort of like the little show that could.  It started with a fairly innocuous cast, and I don't know if anywhere thought a zombie show would succeed on mainstream TV.  Kicking off with a short season, it took the television world by storm.  When I met a good chunk of the cast back in March, they were so humble and down-to-earth that they seemed pretty surprised by the reception of the show.  It's hard to believe that now they're all serious stars in their own right.

But, with success comes haters, and I knew this season was going to start off with a lot of complaints.  My Twitter and Facebook feed was crowded with bitching and whining and I was not surprised in the least.  I liked this episode, and I really didn't agree with most of the complainers that it was slow-moving.  I thought it was well-paced, and allowed us to catch up on the characters while gearing up for the next season.

For those that didn't see it (spoilers ahead, bitches!), Season 2 kicks off with the remaining characters fleeing the exploding CDC building.  Some people stayed behind to die, which is something I definitely would not have done with several sexy guys running around this little group.  I mean, come on, Shane is single now.  Get with the program. 

There's lots of riding around in cars, and a pretty badass herd of zombies on the attack.  Everyone scrambles to hide, and all seems reasonably well except that Sophia goes missing, prompting the group to unsuccessfully traipse around the woods in search of her.   Andrea is determined to be too much of a headcase to carry around a gun, lest she may shoot herself in the head.  I would encourage this, so that I could have Shane to myself.  (Sorry, I'm getting off-topic but I find him so hot) 

The group finds a small church, but no sign that God is coming to help any of them.  Carl attempts to approach a deer in the woods, which is not something I would do with hungry, trigger-happy people around.  I liked this episode, and I'm looking forward to the second season.

Movie News: First Pictures from The Walking Dead Season 2

It seemed like so long ago when I was at a Walking Dead panel where the cast revealed that writing had just begun on Season 2 and nothing was set as of yet.

And now, mere months later, we have our first still from Season 2.  Nothing earth shattering, but it's just a good feeling to know that the show is moving along.  Can't wait to see the Walking Dead crew back in action!

Frank Darabont is psyched as well!  Frank tells Dread Central: "At this moment I'm standing on a stretch of post-apocalypse interstate in Georgia littered with abandoned cars and blessing my good luck to be reunited with our amazing cast and our fantastic directors and crew. Across the board there are none better. It's great to be shooting again. I think we've embarked on a great season."

Yay zombies!

photo source

Random: 30 Day Horror Challenge Day 14

What is your favorite zombie movie?

I can't believe I'm going to admit this right here on my blog, but I am not a zombie purist.  I....oh my god it's so hard to say....don't really love Romero-esque zombie movies.  I understand the man is the pioneer of zombies, and I respect that.  But I just can't get into the flicks as much as the newer ones.

Honestly, this choice came down to the remake of Dawn of the Dead (I know, burn me at the stake) but I just really love 28 Days Later.  The fast zombies are scary and the forgotten wasteland of London is harrowing and creepy.  This movie had a great storyline and characters, and I even liked 28 Weeks Later.  Now I hear we're getting 28 Months Later and I'm pretty sure it will rock hardcore.

Random: 30 Day Horror Challenge Day 13

What is your favorite horror comedy?

I was always a pretty big fan of Shaun of the Dead but then Zombieland came along and stole my cold and wicked little heart.  Even my dad liked this movie and he hates blood.

The story was so fun, and the casting brilliant.  I think Emma Stone is the hottest chick in the game right now, and for some reason, I have a ridiculous crush on Woody Harrelson. (I blame Natural Born Killers)  Also, Bill Murray?  Abigail Breslin?  Awesome.

They say Zombieland 2 is coming and I couldn't be more excited.  Bring it on!