Terror Trap (2010)

Psychos in a backwoods hotel?  Unbelievable, right?  Terror Trap appears to be another installment in the Psycho ripoffs.  This one's got a cobbled-together cast of "oh, I know that guy" types including Michael Madsen, Jeff Fahey, David James Elliot, and Heather Marsden.  Madsen always seems to get top billing no matter how much he's actually in a movie, because come on, Reservoir Dogs was the shit.

Don (David James Elliot) and Nancy (Heather Marsden) are riding along in rural Louisiana when they are struck by a car that quickly drives away.  After waiting by their disabled car for a while, a weird sheriff (Jeff Fahey) shows up.  He explains that there are no tow trucks or car rentals available at this hour and they should stay at a nearby motel.  Clearly that's a stupid idea if I ever heard one, but they trek over anyway.  The hotel has a creepy front desk person and cameras that seem to be watching their every move.  The couple seems ridiculously naive, ignoring blood on the wall and screams from next door just so they can get a little shut eye.

Meanwhile, there's some sort of kidnapping/murder/hooker ring where people wear strange masks and Michael Madsen is somehow involved.  I worry that this is going to be one of those low-budget flicks with way too much going on when they could have kept it simple and more effective.  The couple is completely insufferable and I spend a lot of time hoping they will just die.  Then we have the Ukranian hookers yanked from the set of Taken and a bunch of truck drivers gawking at security cameras and it's a party.  Madsen waxes all philosophical stoner to distract us from the fact that this movie is going absolutely nowhere.  There is a lot of time taken up by people watching cameras and making phone calls.

When I told my husband I was watching this movie, he responded "haha, Terror Crap."   Little did I know he was right.  To call this a ripoff of Vacancy would probably be a compliment.  I understand that Madsen is trying to get an obscene amount of movies under his belt for some sort of self-satisfaction, but I really hope he can avoid junk like this in the future.

UKM: The Ultimate Killing Machine (2006)

Michael Madsen in a movie that only gets a 3.1 on IMDB?  Say it ain't so. 

UKM is a movie about military experiments.  I don't know much about the intricate details of the military, so I'm not biased as it relates to accuracy in this flick.  Basically, a secret government organization is trying to create soldiers that are ultimate killing machines.  They tried it with experienced soldier, but it didn't work out so well.  So they recruit a bunch of nobodies, including runaways, fugitives, and drug addicts, to join in the program.

The test subjects are quarantined in some random facility, have the procedure performed on them, and then are strapped to gurneys.  Some idiot tries to sexually assault one of the subjects, and she beats the crap out of him and lets everyone free. 

This "escape" seems almost deliberately planned in order to see how the recruits will act when let loose in the world.  In addition to the desire to kill kill kill, they also become horny and start jumping all over each other.  The major (Michael Madsen) informs them of the experiment, expressing that they can avoid all the dramz by avoiding "getting excited."  Easier said than done.

Of course, there's a ridiculous amount of nonsense in this movie.  A crack addict is in a brand-new Victoria's Secret bra and panty set.  A hipster is an ever-willing Army recruit.  People are allowed to take Army photos while flipping off the camera.  But everyone is hot (girls and guys) and there's blood, gore, decapitation,  and general awesomeness.

Apparently Michael Madsen is busting ass to get to 200 movies, which is why he seems to be appearing in every movie possible (House, anyone?) .  I don't hate on that.  It made several people's careers, including Danny Trejo, Bill Moseley (in the horror world) and probably eventually Danielle Harris.  If you're not going to walk every red carpet like Brad and Angie, I say go balls out and be in every movie you can.  Madsen, I salute you.

I really didn't hate this movie.   It wasn't the best thing I've ever seen but it certainly wasn't the worst.   Maybe I'm still flying high off of Jack Kilborn's Afraid (I'll do a post soon, I promise!) but this flick was acceptable in my book.  Nothing awesome, but we've got Madsen, head choppings, and 20-somethings banging....you can't hope for much more on Easter Sunday ;)

Movie News: Inkubus and Infected

I was lucky enough to attend a panel at the New York Comic Con, featuring up and coming director Glenn Ciano, as he discussed his two upcoming projects, Inkubus and Infected.  I was really unfamiliar with both of these movies, which is crazy considering how many popular horror actors are in them.  It just seems the buzz hasn't really been too heavy around these two flicks, but let's get some started.  First off, Inkubus.

Inkubus stars Robert Englund, and also features William Forsythe, Joey Fatone (seriously) and Tom DeNucci.

Here's the plot summary from IMDB:

"Inkubus tells the story of a skeleton crew, including officers Caretti and Cole, working the final shift of a closing police station. This night takes a gruesome turn when a demon named Inkubus calmly walks in with the severed head of a murdered girl. He allows himself to be restrained and begins to confess his litany of crimes. Why? Inkubus wants his one phone call to contact the single detective who almost caught him some thirteen years ago. They have unfinished business that will reopen a haunting unsolved murder. The cops unlucky enough to be present are fated to participate in, and witness, Inkubus' crowning achievement of murder, gore, and mayhem."

We saw the preview for this (there's a crappy recorded version available here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYUEBFdDlMM) and this thing looks pretty freakin' badass.  Robert Englund is doing his best to play the super creeper and I'd say he's still got it.  Glenn Ciano said that they're hoping to premiere it at the NYC Horror Film Festival, which is taking place November 10-14. 

Next up, Infected.  Now I would say there's even less information available on this flick, as they only started filming it last Monday.  However, we were able to get an inside scoop at the panel.  This isn't going to be the typical zombie movie.  It's going to be kind of a lyme disease gone wild type of deal, where some crazy strain of the sickness makes people go all kinds of bananas.  There's an awesome cast featuring Michael Madsen, William Forsythe, Christy Carlson Romano, Tom DeNucci, and Joey Fatone.

Looks like Glenn Ciano is fixing to be the next Rob Zombie, using repeat actors in his movies.  Not that I have a problem with that ;o)  However, if you want my honest opinion, the title could use a little work.  There have been three "Infected"s in the last 5 years and I really think this movie can stand out due to it's premise.  Just my two cents.

This is filming in Rhode Island as we speak, and Ciano promises it will be bloody, gory, and exciting.  He also hinted to the fact that this could be part of a trilogy, 28 Days/Weeks/Months-style.  I'm looking forward to it.

Random: New York Comic Con Day 1

This is me being a massive nerd, as I am BEYOND excited to be hanging out with Michael Madsen.  Luckily enough for this horror freak, he was on a panel we were going to.  As everyone else was preoccupied with the James Marsters panel, he was just kind of hanging out, shooting the shit.  We discussed House and although I don't want to blow up his spot, the conversation was hilarious.  We also chatted about an upcoming movie (non-horror) that he's doing with "Billy Forsythe" (squeeeee!) called "Loosies."  But back to the actual con.

There's not a gigantic horror presence at the Comic Con, but I liked what I saw.  There were tables passing out swag for Frozen, Let Me In, Suck, and Sanctuary, which I can't find info about anywhere.  I don't recognize anyone on the poster either.

There's also a huge set up for the Alien Anthology, where they're giving out this ridiculous alien stick things that gave me a splinter.  There's also a huge presence for The Walking Dead but to be honest, nothing fun.  They are selling the comic books, but besides that, it's one of the most boring booths at the con.

Suffice it to say that there is definitely a large vampire presence at NYCC.  In the minds of con-goers, it was a sin to take Buffy off the air, and Sarah Michelle Gellar should suit up again and put Twilight out of it's misery.  Seriously, this is the most popular shirt I saw all of yesterday.  There are lots of booths pimping vampire books and movies, likely trying to capitalize off the success of True Blood and Twilight.

I attended three panels yesterday: How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse (surprisingly lame) A Geek's Guide to Podcasting and Blogging (very informative) and Inkubus and Infected (which was totally fucking awesome)  Let me explain.

Inkubus and Infected are two horror movies being created by up and coming director Glenn Ciano.  We got to the panel super-early because we thought Robert Englund might be there and the whole place would be freakin' mobbed.  Well, everyone was busy with the James Marsters panel, and it was not in fact mobbed.  Instead, we got treated to a pretty much private Q&A with Glenn Ciano, Michael Madsen, Christy Carlson Romano, and Tom DeNucci.  I'm definitely doing a whole separate post on these two movies, so stay tuned, but here are a couple shots from the panel:

So that's it for yesterday, folks!  Getting my coffee/breakfast together now and off for another day at the Con.  My feet still freakin' hurt though.

Tooth and Nail (2007)

I know I'm partial to end of the world movies, but I actually thought this flick was pretty good.  The world comes to somewhat of an end because the gas supply runs out.  This actually seems completely feasible at this day and age and is pretty creepy.  Both Rider Strong and Michael Madsen are up in this jam, and that's enough to get me to watch.

A group of survivors has been holed up in a hospital for about a year,  and things are going well.  They have food, water, and safety and are being led by "The Professor."  Dude is a smartypants type who assigns chores and makes plans, and these people are pretty much sheep and follow him wordlessly.

One day, part of the group goes out on a little expedition and comes across some people in trouble.  A woman, Neon, is injured but alive and the group brings her back to their safe haven.  Everything is going fine until they start being stalked by a group of cannibals.  Some of the clan start to go missing and the former fortress of the hospital turns into a battleground.

This movie is a little slow-moving but there was a good story and a pretty decent twist.  I mean, yeah the people weren't the most brilliant in surviving post-apocalypse, but if they were, there wouldn't be a movie.  The acting was meh at best, but you know, don't throw the baby out with the bathwater.  This flick was no Carriers but I liked it.  Worth a watch.

House (2008)

This movie was seriously confusing.  I'm not really entirely sure what it was about.  Two couples are t
traveling separately through Alabama where they blow their tires on some old farm equipment.  In search of help, they come across a weird bed and breakfast run by Betty (Leslie Easterbrook), Stewart (Bill Moseley) and Pete (Lew Temple).  The lovebirds aren't too keen on staying there, but there's no cell service or working phones so they're sort of stuck.

During dinner, they hear some noises out front and the proprietors of this fine establishment rush to close and bolt the doors and windows.  It turns out the visitor is the "Tin Man," some sort of murderer who only goes after people who did something wrong.  So we start in with the flashbacks....it seems like all of these people have done something bad in their lives.

From here on out, the movie just kind of loses it.  The Tin Man and the weird family chase everyone around the gigantic house, trying to kill them or make them kill each other.  There's some little creepy girl thrown into the mix and I never quite understood what her purpose was.  This movie was just boring and nonsensical.  Skip it.

*Bill Moseley appears at 24 minutes


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