Wednesday, August 1, 2018

The Bye Bye Man (2017)

For whatever reason, we have this "premium" cable package, which includes Showtime, HBO, Cinemax, etc.  What I've noticed about these channels is that they all have like half dozen offshoot channels, and for like month, they just play the same half dozen movies interchangeably.  So every time I flipped through, I kept seeing The Bye Bye Man and while that is a pretty dumb name for a movie, obviously I had to watch.

Apparently this is based on a story called "The Bridge to Body Island" about a blind man in New Orleans who murdered people, cut out their eyes and tongue, and brought them to life using voodoo.  That sounds pretty rad to be honest.

The movie opens with a man going on a murder spree in the late 60s, asking each victim if they told anyone else about "the name."  In present day, Elliot, his girlfriend Sasha and friend John move into a rundown house near their college.  Elliot unwittingly sees the name (the bye bye man) carved inside a nightstand and later repeats it in the presence of others.

After that, things begin to quickly go downhill.  Sasha gets sick, and Elliot gets crazy, and poor John is kinda stuck in the middle.   You can avoid all this nonsense by not thinking of the bye bye man or saying his name, but we all know the easiest way to think about something is to know that you shouldn't.  Hallucinations abound, and it's a big mess of who knows, who doesn't know, and who's headed to kill who. But I don't know, it's also kinda fun?  This movie got pretty terrible reviews, but there was something I liked about it, so I'm going to go against the grain and give it a tentative thumbs up.

Saturday, February 24, 2018

Cult of Chucky (2017)

Can there ever be too many Chucky movies?  I think we all know the answer is no.  As long as Brad Dourif walks this earth, we're getting Chucky movies, whether we want them or not.  So let's go, Chucky #7!

Andy Barclay (fuck yeah, Alex Vincent!) is on the worst date ever, where he's being interrogated by a nervous redhead about his Chucky-related past.  I'm confused as to why having a possessed doll in your past keeps you from being a good mate, but I probably am more tolerating than most.  Andy returns to his log cabin of beer and weaponry and we find out that he has kept Chucky's (living!) head in a safe to torment and chat with. 

Meanwhile, Nica has been transferred to a lower security psych hospital, where things are going...not so well.  Nica believes she committed all the murders, due to aggressive therapy and electroshock treatment, but a new paramour immediately mentions Chucky's involvement.  Meanwhile, Chucky dolls are practically falling from the sky -- first in therapy, and then delivered by Tiffany. 

While Chucky terrorizes the hospital, the staff attributes it to mass hysteria a al Nightmare on Elm Street 3.  Also is it not so weird how hyper realistic Chucky gets with each movie?  I think I prefer the old Chucky.  Another character that's going a little downhill in this installment is Tiffany/Jennifer.  What was previously adorable and spastic (possibly Harley Quinn-esque) has now become jittery and forced. 

Also remember how Alex Vincent was looking all lame and apologetic at the beginning and now he's all hot and angry?!  Come to mama.  Why haven't I caught him on the convention circuit yet?  As the bodies get carried out, Dr. Foley finds himself in hot water.  Meanwhile, you could make an entire horror movie about his sexually abusive ass. 

I feel like this whole transfer to multiple dolls and the splitting of souls was too far-fetched, even for a Chucky movie.  Also confusing as to why Andy thought that shooting one Chucky would kill all the Chuckies when obviously there were lots of Chuckies.  Gahhhh.  And I know we always want to leave this open to another sequel, but now we're digging up Andy's former foster sister from like five movies ago?! 

Curse of Chucky (2013)

Mom brain in full effect, I actually started to write a review of Cult of Chucky and I was like hold on, did I ever see Curse of Chucky?  It seems familiar but I can't find a review anywhere on my site, so we'll tackle this one first and then move on to Cult.

Wheelchair-bound Nica (Fiona Dourif, Brad's daughter), accepts a package containing Chucky.  Both she and her mother, Sarah are confused about the delivery, but decide to give the doll to Nica's niece, Alice.  But before that can happen, her mother dies of stab wounds, which everyone comes to believe is a suicide.

Nica's sister and brother in law arrive with their niece and nanny.  Chucky wastes no time adding rat poison to one of the dinner bowls.  It's like chili roulette!  Unfortunately, the priest eats the chili, and then, like most Chucky movies, it's just murder dominoes from there on out.  The residents of the house have accepted and embraced Chucky (especially Alice!) and once Nica decides to employ the google machine, it's too late!

Chucky is traipsing throughout the house, looking like Michael Jackson, while people on three separate computers realize this was all a damn mistake.  Through flashbacks, it's revealed that Charles Lee Ray had a relationship with Nica's family, which resulted in him stabbing a pregnant Sarah and paralyzing Nica from birth.  Which also ultimately leads to Charles's human death.  Nica uses a well-timed questioning of Chucky's manhood to literally get one step ahead....but sadly, off the the mental institution. 

Chucky proposes a game of "hide the soul" to Alice, who accepts!  And then, luckily, we get the return of Andy (now an adult Alex Vincent) accepting the delivery of Chucky (from Tiffany, no less!) which opens us up to yet another sequel!  Whee!!


Monday, February 19, 2018

Pin (1988)

I read something about this movie recently, and I was like holy crap this is TOO fucked up, I have to see it right away.  One of my new year's resolutions is to devote more time to this blog, and that means actually sitting down and writing when I have free time instead of zoning out and watching reality TV.

Sometimes these obscure older movies are hard to find online (and we're a streaming only house for years now) but luckily some of them lurk on YouTube.  It doesn't take long before this movie is totally fucked.  Leon and his sister Ursula live with their weird parents, where they are fairly isolated and friendless.  Their father is a pediatrician, and he has a lifelike anatomical dummy called Pin, who he makes "talk" to the children and patients via ventriloquism.  It is creepy as HELL and I have no idea why any parents are taking their kids to this psychotic doctor.  And just when you think this can't get any weirder, a nurse bangs the doll while the kid watches.  For real, this is all less than 15 minutes into the movie.


It's no surprise these two grow up a little weird -- Ursula looking at Playboy before puberty, and Leon beating up guys she's having sex with as a teenager.  After the death of their parents, with Pin in the car, no less, Leon's obsession with Pin grows, much to Ursula's dismay. Ursula does her best to live a "normal" life, while Leon does his best to sabotage it. He begins to have conversations with Pin using ventriloquism.  While Ursula has a seemingly normal romantic relationship with a young man from college, Leon tells a topless young woman that he can't hook up with her while Pin is in the house.  And hold up, is Pin motorized now?!  Damn.

Pin is basically a part of the family, while Ursula tries to balance the relationship with her brother along with her boyfriend. Pin gets blamed for some gruesome actions, but is it Pin...or Leon?  This movie has a pretty sweet ending, and did you know the voice of Pin is Mike from Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul?!

If you like bizarre, campy, creepy movies, you cannot miss Pin.  I only see it available streaming via YouTube, but you can also purchase the DVD on Amazon. 



Monday, October 9, 2017

American Horror Story: Cult - "Holes"

Beverly is getting in trouble at work for what her boss calls "fake news."  She's focusing on the murders, as well as giving Kai air time in his bid to run for city council.  She ends up getting fired, while threatening to tell everyone about the relationship between Bob and the young murdered reporter.

The underground group, led by Kai, hold their meeting, where Winter reports that the city council race is pretty low on people's priority list.  Kai suggests they kill Bob for firing Beverly.  And who shows up to the meeting but Ivy?!?!  WTF. 

Ally hallucinates that holes are in her skin and bugs are crawling in and out, causing her to aggressively gouge her neck.  She returns to her hot therapist, and it's revealed that they have been struggling financially for some time, and their relationship wasn't doing too well either.

Now Ally only has supervised visits with Ozzy and that's not really going so well either.  The underground group/clowns show up at Bob's house.  Is it just me or are these clowns getting scarier?  Geez. In an very odd turn of events, Bob has a guy hanging from hooks in the attic with a black mask on.  Consensual?  Not?  Guess we'll never know because Kai just goes ahead and stabs dude in the chest.  And Bob's death is not far behind. 

Meanwhile, back in the house that she hates, Ally sees Harrison skulking around his house even though he is supposed to be to missing along with Meadow, right?  Instead of calling someone of authority, Ally just goes over there herself, finding a grave with an injured Meadow inside.  She runs back to her house, and attempts to call 911, but after being told to wait on hold a moment, she uselessly calls Ivy instead.  Meadow comes banging on the window, and reveals to Ally who all is involved in this clown nonsense, including Ivy. 

Kai's support for the city council has gone up since the video of the clowns was released.  High on power, he vows to remove the "weakest link" of the group, who he conveniently has tied up and gagged.  To make up for running away before they killed Bob, Ivy needs to shoot the first nail into the poor guy's head. 

In a conversation with Beverly, Kai reveals the story behind the loss of his parents.  After a motorcycle accident, his dad became angry and abusive, and his mom killed him and herself in a murder/suicide.  Instead of reporting the death, Kai and his brother (hot therapist Rudy Vincent!), lock them in the bedroom, covering them in lye, and continuing to cash their disability and pension checks.  And Kai continues to visit them, Norman Bates-style!