American Horror Story Asylum: "Dark Cousin"

There's lots more nuns here we've never seen before.  They go to check on Grace and she's bleeding profusely from the vajay.  A dark angel who looks like Mrs. Grubman from Nip/Tuck comes to take her away but these two ditzes manage to revive her.  (Wait, it's not Mrs. Grubman, but the older maid from the first season!  People keep popping up in this nonsense)

"I hope this clarifies the chain of command, Arthur."  I absolutely freakin' love Mary Eunice.  Now there's a black man, Miles, we've never seen before who wants to chop his arm off.  And there's something written on the wall that only Sister Eunice understands.  The black angel visits Miles. 

Dr. Thredson is raping Lana, which is sad, and she's putting up no fight.  However, it seems like she's just saving up her energy for when she pops the shit out him later!  Thredson has already tired of her and decides she must die.  Lana is having absolutely none of that.  But she escapes only to jump in a car with another weirdo!  This chick has the worst luck.  And now she's back at Briarcliff!!  BUMMER.

Sister Jude relives a time when she was a singer and a drunk.  She got kicked out of her band, and reminded of the little girl she hit.  The Devil/Mary Eunice calls Sister Jude to make her feel sufficiently awful.  She goes to a diner and dreams of cutting her wrists but does not do so.  She goes to visit the family of the little girl she thought she'd killed.  But surprise!  She's ALIVE.  With a little baby of her own.

Kit escapes and runs to save Grace.  But in the meantime, one of those creatures escapes and attacks everyone.  As Grace tries to protect Kit, a security guard shoots her, and she takes off with the black angel.  Until next week!

American Horror Story Asylum - Episode 2

**This is a recap!  Spoilers ahead!**

It's been a tough week at my day job and Scream Queen needs some American Horror Story.  I still don't love this villain, Bloody Face, but I'm trying to roll with it.  He takes out Adam Levine, but I still don't think that's the last we're going to see of Mr. Maroon Five.  Sister Jude seems to use God when she feels like it.  She decides that God would be fine with electroshock therapy and sends Lana for a little treatment. 

Meanwhile, Dr. Thredson interviews Kit, and diagnoses him with "acute clinical insanity." Mary Eunice continues to feed the creatures out back, and the doctor gives her a candy apple in return.  Dr. Thredson is upset about the conditions at the hospital, and Sister Jude has the best response ever: "It's a madhouse, doctor.  What did you expect?"

A mother and father bring their son in, who has started speaking strange languages and ripped apart their cow and ate the heart.  You know, normal teenage behavior.  Dr. Thredson wants a closer look.  I've seen enough movies to diagnose it as a demon possession.  Shelley is just such a wild and entertaining character.  She's my favorite, along with Grace, the one that looks like Christina Ricci.  There are a lot of people being introduced on this show in only two episodes and I'm getting a little overwhelmed.   IMDB has been my friend. 

The exorcism begins.  Sister Jude gets booted out, and she is none too happy.  "It's no place for a woman," says the priest.  I'm thinking she's the wrong gal to say that to.  Dr. Arden, shortly after calling Shelley a whore, calls a hooker over to his house.  Just to eat food and drink wine though.  No big deal. 

Sister Jude is finally invited to join the exorcism, but she just gets locked in the room with the possessed kid, who reveals her worst secrets.  Not only did she used to be a sauced-up turboslut, but she also killed a little girl when she was driving drunk.  Guess she's not as holier-than-thou as she seems to act. 

The demon knocks the power out, and Lana stages her escape with Grace.  But she ruins it for herself when she decides to blow up Kit's spot.  WTF.  Dr. Arden definitely has a weird fetish about tying women up...also may be a murderer.  Bonus: refers to vagina as a "mossy bank."  Awesome.  Additionally, strong possibility that Mary Eunice is now possessed by the devil.  

Lana gets "rewarded" for being a tattletale by watching Grace and Kit get caned.  Oh well, maybe just Kit.  He seems to be suspiciously eyeing a glass on the desk next to him.  Next week -- lots of screaming, Mary Eunice looks crazypants, and maybe we get to see the creatures!