Naked Fear (2007)

Naked Fear was quite the interesting flick.  Once again, I have no idea how some of these movies get on my queue but Zombie Strippers might have had something to do with this one.

Naked Fear is the story of Diana, who wins a talent contest and is flown out to a small town in New Mexico, presumably to perform that talent.  However, she was sorely mistaken about what she was brought in for and now she has to be a stripper.  She is forced to work to earn back the money it cost to fly her there, and her first month of crappy accomodations.

It is soon brought to Diana's attention that certain ladies of the night are disapeering from the area.  However, this does not stop her from getting into a car with a random guy in order to earn a little extra cash.  Unfortunately, this customer wants a little extra, and Diana finds herself locked up in a garage.  Blackout time, and now she's naked in the middle of the woods.

Apparently, an owner of one of the town's restaurants, Colin, often takes off on long weekend hunting excursions.  What no one realizes is he is hunting ladies, not deer.  He gives Diana a 15 minute head start and then chases after her.

Pretty much the entire second half of this movie is Colin chasing after Diana through the woods and she is naked for the majority of the time. That's one brave lady.  The chasing does get a little old after a while because there's kind of only so much you can do with that.  All in all, this was a good movie, but it probably would have been better served as an episode of Masters of Horror.


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Zombie Strippers! (2008)

I really had high hopes for this movie.  I was really holding out for an Evil Dead meets Showgirls.  Sadly, this was not.

The first 15 minutes of this movie is some stupid military thing bashing (ex) President Bush.  It all boils down to the fact that the government created some sort of virus to reanimate soldiers after death since resources were spread so thin.

Of course, one of the experimental humans escapes to a now-illegal strip club and bites the lovely Jenna Jameson.  After death and zombifying, she ends up being a WAYYY better stripper than before and all the girls want in.

You've got all the typical characters: The super hot and most popular stripper (Jenna), the goth stripper, the cornfed virgin stripper, the one who's jealous of Jenna, and the hard-ass Russian lady manager.

I was actually super-excited to see Robert Englund in this movie because I really like him.  But in this movie, he plays the stupidest part.  He's a strip-club owner, who hates strippers and sprays Lysol on them when they approach.  He's cheesy and seedy and just all around lame.

So all of the girls want to be successful strippers by becoming zombies.  It's never quite explained why the men would rather see blood-covered corpses dancing than regular ladies.  Or how no one notices that their friends keep going missing by being eaten by the strippers.

Eventually this all goes wrong (obviously) and a mini-zombie war takes place in the strip club.  The results are pretty lame and just involve a lot of fake tits, brain-eating, and flesh tearing.

I feel bad but this movie was just not fun.  I was bored after 30 minutes.  I watched it all the way through for the sake of reviewing it, but it was just awful, and not in a good way.   The one redeeming part was the awesome stripping music.  If you like hard rock (like myself) check out the soundtrack and hit up your downloading source of choice.