Saturday, January 16, 2010

Zombie Strippers! (2008)

I really had high hopes for this movie.  I was really holding out for an Evil Dead meets Showgirls.  Sadly, this was not.

The first 15 minutes of this movie is some stupid military thing bashing (ex) President Bush.  It all boils down to the fact that the government created some sort of virus to reanimate soldiers after death since resources were spread so thin.

Of course, one of the experimental humans escapes to a now-illegal strip club and bites the lovely Jenna Jameson.  After death and zombifying, she ends up being a WAYYY better stripper than before and all the girls want in.

You've got all the typical characters: The super hot and most popular stripper (Jenna), the goth stripper, the cornfed virgin stripper, the one who's jealous of Jenna, and the hard-ass Russian lady manager.

I was actually super-excited to see Robert Englund in this movie because I really like him.  But in this movie, he plays the stupidest part.  He's a strip-club owner, who hates strippers and sprays Lysol on them when they approach.  He's cheesy and seedy and just all around lame.

So all of the girls want to be successful strippers by becoming zombies.  It's never quite explained why the men would rather see blood-covered corpses dancing than regular ladies.  Or how no one notices that their friends keep going missing by being eaten by the strippers.

Eventually this all goes wrong (obviously) and a mini-zombie war takes place in the strip club.  The results are pretty lame and just involve a lot of fake tits, brain-eating, and flesh tearing.

I feel bad but this movie was just not fun.  I was bored after 30 minutes.  I watched it all the way through for the sake of reviewing it, but it was just awful, and not in a good way.   The one redeeming part was the awesome stripping music.  If you like hard rock (like myself) check out the soundtrack and hit up your downloading source of choice.


Unknown said...

Just the title alone would make me not watch this movie!

James Gracey said...

Agreed - despite the awesome title and potential for trashy goodness - this was just dull. Dull, dull, DULL!