Monday, December 12, 2011

Bloodlust Zombies (2011)

Alexis Texas.  What a cool name.  Who is this person?  Oh, a porn star and model.  Apparently she plays someone called "Buttwoman."  TP for my bunghole?  I am so immature.  Whatever, she is pretty though.  And apparently going the Zombie Strippers/Jenna Jamieson route, and making the foray into horror movies.

In a vague rip-off of the beginning of 28 Days Later, Blooodlust Zombies starts with a lab testing some chemical weapons, this time on cats instead of monkeys.  But they catch the rage all the same.  Everyone in the office celebrates this as a major victory, so obviously that's what they were aiming for.  The next ten minutes plays out pretty much like a porn, fully utilizing the talents of Miss Alexis Texas, as she dons some cowboy regalia and bounces atop some crusty C-level guy.  Unfortunately, she hits the intercom button, and the entire office hears the details of their ridiculous tryst.  While imitating the bumping and grinding, two lab technicians knock over some vials, and in the midst of the cleanup, accidentally let loose an infected cat.

The "angry pussy" as the dorks put it, scratches another employee, and we all know how this kind of thing goes.  The rage/zombie infection/whatever is spreading and I'm guessing a porn star is slated to be the savior of these poor suckers.  Everyone in this movie is so incredibly stupid, and their horrible acting seems intentional.  There's the bumbling security guard (Dan Lantz), the douchey corporate horndog (Adam Danoff), the nerdy-yet-hot temp (Lauren Todd), the executive ice queen (Janice Marie), and the office hottie (Alexis Texas).  Some incredibly unscary zombies (they call them mutants) prance about the office complex, while the regular people do a pretty bad job of fighting them off.

This was supposed to be a horror comedy, and there were some parts that made me giggle a bit.  Alexis herself clearly realizes that her acting is pornstar-cheesy and she seems to just go with it.  This movie was a pretty standard low-budget zombie ripoff, but if you like B-movies and porn stars adding their nakedness to a movie for no apparent reason, then Bloodlust Zombies might be worth a watch for you.