The Walking Dead Season 3 - Episode 1

The Walking Dead is back!  Yippee!  Several months have passed and Lori is hugely pregnant.  Also, Rick fucking hates Lori.  Like he clearly can't even stand to look at her.  But with Shane gone, Rick has taken his alpha male status and it is sexxaayy.  Also, Daryl appears to be his second-in-command, which is even more awesome.  Carol is no longer wishy-washy and actually seems to kick ass.  Herschel is tired, Maggie is awesome, and Glen is still awesome Glen.  T-Dog still isn't getting enough play, and one of the farm people are there, but I have no idea what her name is.  The quiet blonde one.  Carl is apparently trusted with a gun now, and shoots zombies freely.  So let's recap!

Apparently the group has been traveling around for months, mostly just making their way from house to house.  But now Lori's about to pop and they need to find a place to settle down.  They come across a jail, which is surrounding by inmate zombies, but they're able to find a way in, in no small part to everyone's awesome shooting skills.  They're very excited to have some space and protection and not constantly be on the run.  Daryl jokes about "Baby Shane" eating too much.  LoL!  Do him and Carol finally have something going on?  Maybe she's not such a doormat because she's getting some redneck D.  Good on you, Carol.

This campfire singalong is pretty lame.  And is Carl still wearing that stupid hat?  Give it a rest.  Rick understands that everyone's exhausted, but not really, because they're going to infiltrate the prison tomorrow.  This is like Oregon Trail when you push your people on meager rations and aggressive speed and everyone dies.  He really has absolutely zero patience for Lori and thinks she should feel lucky that he even stayed with her skinny cheating butt.

They split up to enter the prison, hoping to take on the zombies outside.  There's some SERIOUS zombie hand-to-hand combat.  Daryl is still the most badass but Maggie will cut a bitch for real.

They finally find a secure cellblock and move in for the time being.  Herschel is none too happy that Carl was about to bunk with Beth (thattt's the blonde's name).  Glen checks Maggie for scratches and I go all squeeee inside.  Carol and Lori are having a slumber party because obvs Rick isn't going to share a cell with her.  Daryl sleeps in the hall because he's "not going to be locked in no cage."  Awesome.

I almost forgot about the lady with the armless zombies (Michonne).  Her and Andrea have been hanging out for a while, but now Andrea's sick and wants her to leave her to die.  Noooo, Andrea!  LIVE!  Lori's afraid that her fetus is a zombie.  She also fears she will die during childbirth, thus becoming a zombie and killing her baby.  Woah, pregnancy hormones.

The men, and Maggie of course, take off to explore the prison.  There's no electricity, so they're going by flashlights.  They're attacked by walkers, and Herschel is injured.  Boy, Rick's heart is just stone cold, and he is running on pure adrenaline.  Hacking off Herschel's leg like five seconds after he got bit?  Holy crap.

And the cliffhanger for next week?  Daryl goes to shoot some "walkers" that are actually humans!!  Looks like they've made some new friends.  Until next Sunday.