American Horror Story: Coven - The Replacements

Have I mentioned yet that these AHS recaps are freakin' exhausting?  Talk about working my brain.  Writing these is like taking a calculus class.  Love the show but damn it's complicated.

Fiona wakes up in the middle of the night, and daydreams back to an earlier time.  At one time, Fiona was young and beautiful and was taking over for the previous Supreme. Apparently what it takes to be a Supreme is to have several powers at once.  Also there's a random pussy-whipped butler who can't talk.  Sure that will come into play later.

Fiona is at bar, but thinking about dancing.  It seems the "dance" is attracting young men, which fades as she gets older.  Zoe goes to visit another witch (Mare Winningham!) who is smoking pot, and doing a lot of talking.  Queenie, Madison and Nan watch the sexy shirtless boys moving in next door.  Delphine sobs over the black president.  Nan talks about how she "gets it all the time." Love it.

Delphine is a racist to Queenie and Fiona makes her Queenie's direct slave.  LOVE IT.  Misty snuggles with Kyle and listens to Fleetwood Mac.  Zoe tries to make him fall back in love with her but Misty is jealous.  I just feel terrible for Misty because she is very lonely.  Nan rolls up on the cute boy's house with a cake, and Madison arrives in a club dress.  The  mother of the house kicks them both out.

Cordelia is back at the gyno, with a problem--she can't have a baby. Fiona is at the plastic surgeon, where they are refusing her any more work.  Zoe carries Kyle back to his mom's house (Mare Winningham!!), where she is both excited and scared to see him.

The mother from the next door visits Fiona to complain about the girls. Fiona pretty much chuckles about it.  Madison just wants to fuck poor innocent Catholic boy Luke.  Alicia (Winningham) visits her son in bed.  She's worried about his shower time, which looked sexy to me.  But apparently she realizes he looks different from before.  WHY?!  OMG BECAUSE SHE'S HAVING SEX WITH HER SON.

Cordelia rolls up on the Ninth Ward looking for Marie for her fertility issues.  Love the use of the phrase "baby gravy." There's this whole process, and also you get to bathe in goat's blood.  It's $50K but Marie turns her down because of Fiona's antics.  Nan gets into Zoe's head and knows about her Kyle crush.

Alicia calls Zoe to come retrieve Kyle.  Fiona lunches with Madison.  Fiona admits she was a terrible mother, much like Madison's.  Madison wants to be taught to be like Fiona.  Fiona seems to worry that she will be the next Supreme.   Delphine is Queenie's slave and it's hilarious.  But now the minatour is breaking in.

Queenie lets Delphine hide from the minotaur but then goes outside to bang him.  Alicia continues to flip out about her son's anatomy, you know, since she bangs him.  No worries because he beats her up.  Madison looks gorg at a dive bar with Fiona.  Fiona pictures herself as Madison since that's how she looked when she was younger.  Fiona pours out a drink!!

Fiona informs Madison thats she's the next Supreme since Fiona is dying from cancer.  She begs Madison to kill her,  but slits Madison's throat instead!!  The weird butler is there to help,  and to "bury her deep."

"This Coven doesn't need a new Supreme.  It needs a new rug."

FIONA FOREVAHHH!!  Until next week!