Friday, December 2, 2011

Someone's Knocking at the Door (2009)

I live in an apartment building where sound travels in crazy ways.  So movies that feature actual knocking on doors kinda spazzes me out.  When I first turn this movie on, it has sort of a Requiem for a Dream quality and I almost turn it off.  This is a story for another time, but I absolutely loathe Requiem for a Dream and even thinking about it gives me a minor panic attack. 

The premise of this movie is that two ex-hippies return to a medical school where they were once test subjects.  They target a bunch of drugged-out students and kill them through violent sex acts.   I don't know what drugs these people are on, but they seem to make them exist in some sort of parallel dream universe.  There is lots of nudity in this movie, and it kicks off in the first five minutes.  My husband is out of town at the moment, and I was really sad that I couldn't yell "BOOBS!" to him right after the movie started. 

What is the point of the stuttering guy in this movie, except just being annoying?  He's like the Franklin of Someone's Knocking at the Door.   Now I know people are stupid in horror movies, but this one takes the cake.  These morons FIND drugs from the 1970s and just decide to take them.  My freakin' Sudafed expires in a year.  And you're stupid enough to inject drugs from decades ago?  You deserve what you get.  Basically everyone just trips out, somehow gets lured into an enticing sexual situation, and ends up dead.

This movie was shot in 11 days, presumably by people that were extremely high the entire time.  This also claims to be "the most depraved film of the 21st century," which I would not believe for one moment.  The music is a teenage hipster-wannabe's wet dream.  This movie was truly horrible and I can't believe I even left it on as long as I did.  Some are classifying it as a horror-comedy...well, this is no Zombieland.  Unless you want to be endlessly confused and see girls wearing dildos, I'd say skip this one.