Movie News: The Lords of Salem official synopsis

I really want to like this movie and get excited about it.  I'm such a Rob Zombie fanatic and I'm usually so psyched for what he has coming out.  But I just can't get into this movie for some reason.  It just seems...sort of lame.

Here's the synopsis from Dread Central:

"Heidi, a blonde rock chick, DJs as a local radio station, and together with the two Hermans (Whitey and Munster) forms part of the "Big H Radio Team".


A myserious wooden box containing a vinyl record arrives for Heidi, "a gift from the Lords". She assumes it's a rock band on a mission to spread their word. As Heidi and Whitey play the Lords' record, it starts to play backwards, and Heidi experiences a flashback to a past trauma.

Later, Whitey plays the Lords' record, dubbing them the Lords of Salem, and to his surprise, the record plays normally and is a massive hit with listeners.


The arrival of another wooden box from the Lords presents the Big H team with free tickets, posters and records to host a gig in Salem. Soon Heidi and her cohorts find that the gig is far from the rock spectacle they're expecting: the original Lords of Salem are returning, and they're out for BLOOD."

Maybe it's because I can't get into the story, which sort of sounds like The Gate gone awry.  Maybe it's because I know that Sheri Moon Zombie has probably already been wrongly cast as the star of this movie.  Maybe it just seems sort of out of touch with the times.  Who sends records?  Who even listens to the radio anymore?  I haven't heard the radio since I was riding in my mom's SUV around Christmastime.  I'm just feeling kinda meh about the whole thing.
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