Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Death Row (2006)

Jake Busey gets top billing on this flick, so I guess we know what type of movie Death Row is.  Originally premiered on the Sci-Fi channel, you now access this one on Netflix instant.  I can't say no to a movie that involves Danny Trejo, so on a lazy afternoon I decided to give this a shot.

So there's two sets of people in this movie, both unfortunately involved with a haunted prison.  Apparently some guards went nuts one day and started shooting at the inmates of the prison.  Then, in a strange turn of events, they opened all the cells and let the inmates out.  Of course, a bloody battle ensued, leaving, presumably only one survivor.

A documentary crew is interviewing the survivor to get his story on what the hell went down.  He tells them the story and shows them his stumps, which are a result of him having to (literally) hack his way out of the battle to save himself.  Not satisfied with simply the interview, the crew decides to check out the abandoned prison.

On the other hand, we have a group of cons on the run.  They've robbed a jewelry store, and with one of their group wounded by a security guard, they rush to safety.  Apparently the closest safe place is the prison, where they plan on holing up for the night.

Of course, none of this works out as planned, as both crews encounter each other and discover that the prison is haunted by the ghosts of the inmates and guards.  From the first awesome death of a guy being squeezed through a chainlink fence, this movie pretty much goes downhill from here.  People argue, they wander around the prison, and badly rendered ghosts provide half-assed threats.  There is some T&A, when the "hot chick" of the group uses the bathroom, is promptly covered in feces, and force to take a shower.  I think they could have squeezed the sex element in here in a more enticing manner, but this movie doesn't really make much sense anyway.

Danny Trejo, apparently on his quest to be in the most movies ever, is in the flick for about three minutes, playing a laughable priest that only made me think of Machete.  Jake Busey seems to be adapting the same batshit crazy look of his father, so maybe his career in horror will work out after all.  Skip this one though.  It was born on the Sci-Fi channel, and probably should have stayed there.

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