Friday, January 7, 2011

Nine Dead (2010)

Melissa Joan Hart starring in what appears to be a Saw series ripoff?  Sold!  Nine people are kidnapped by a masked man and chained to some poles in a basement.  The mask is seriously hysterical and looks like a combination between the Blue Man Group and that guy from When a Stranger Calls Back.  

All of these people are told that there is a timer set for ten minutes.  They have this time to figure out what the nine of them have in common, or a person will be killed every ten minutes.  These folks really are a motley crew, from a district attorney to a cop to a child molester to an insurance claims supervisor.

They do a whole lot of arguing which seems to prevent them from figuring out what they have in common.  Every time they start to get on the right track, they go on crazy tangents and start insulting each other.  Obviously a few die before they figure out what the hell is up.  This guy has really no sympathy, because at some point they pretty much figure it out, but apparently he needs the whole story, or he's not putting down the gun and calling this thing off.

This movie gets totally slaughtered on IMDB but I actually thought it was relatively decent.  It was pretty fast paced and it kept me watching the whole time without playing with my cats or checking Facebook.  But there was one thing that drove me freakin' bananas about this movie.  Every time before the guy killed someone, he whispered in their ear the reason why they were there.  Then he stepped back and got all dramatic and the people begged for their lives or told him to just fuck off.  OMG why the hell didn't you just say the reason out loud to everyone?!?!  Stupid.