I've really been trying to be an objective horror movie reviewer lately and trying not to write things off as total crap before I even see them. I believed in my mind that the NOES remake would be a pile of steaming garbage just on principle but I very honestly sat down with an open mind and tried to like this movie.
This movie was so completely horrible. There is a reason that all of the posters show Freddy with his head down or from far away. That is because Jackie Earle Haley as Freddy looks like a freakin' alien from outer space. Seriously, that's the only way I can describe it. I hated how he delivered the classic Freddy phrases with such a deadpan inflection. It just bothered me so much that they took a classic character with a distinctive personality, which has always been played by the same actor, and made him basically a parody of himself.
Let's start from the beginning. The remake had the same general cast of characters. A bunch of teenagers, including Nancy (played by Rooney Mara this time) are having difficulty sleeping, nightmares about a creeper in a striped sweater, etc. A friend dies, which leads Nancy to discover a childhood photo in which she is present. However, she does not remember meeting this person until high school. She does some digging and finds out that she and her friends have more in common than they realized.
I will admit that I did appreciate the backstory in this version of NOES. I found it to be interesting and fairly well-explained. It also kind of answered the question we all were probably always thinking, which was whether or not Freddy was also a child molester. It was also a nice tie-in when they figured out how they knew each other.
However, there were just too many other flaws. Even if I could pretend Robert Englund/real Freddy never existed, JEH's portrayal of the character was just awful. Zero personality and a voice that was annoying as hell. The acting wasn't 80s cheesy, it was just downright freakin' awful. The dream sequences and general order of the story were spastic at best. They used the classic/awesome lines and scenes from the original NOES and made them ridiculous.
I just really couldn't stand this movie and I am just so tired of remakes. Hollywood, horror fans beg of you, make some original movies!
Sunday, November 7, 2010
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3 comments:
i honestly don't always hate remakes,not that there aren't some bad ones. but this is by far the worst, it was so awful. I agree about liking the extra background info though, it was the only good thing about the movie.
@cynniegirl: I also don't always hate remakes. I particularly liked RZ's Halloween and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. But I just feel like remakes are all that comes out in the mainstream anymore -- we need some new stuff!
THE disappointment of this year
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