Saturday, September 18, 2010

The Woods Have Eyes (2007)

Seriously, we couldn't think of a more original title for this movie?  I feel there were definitely better options out there.  Apparently this was "inspired by true events" which could pretty much mean anything these days.  Like someone died in the woods at some point in time and the writers were "inspired" to make this  ridiculous movie. 

A bunch of guidos with overdone Brooklyn accents are traveling upstate for a little summer retreat.  Nevermind that this was actually filmed in Florida, which does not resemble upstate New York in any way.  It's all fun and games until the guys decide to take a little hike to see Cappy's Cabin.  It's not clear why they would want to see this cabin, but there's not too much in this movie that is clear.

Two of the older guys, including Jersey Shore wannabe Carmine, take a bunch of the kids along on this hike.  They find the cabin, and one of the guys is pulled inside the window and killed.  That leaves Carmine and the kids to fend for themselves as a group of rednecks hunt them through the woods.   As the hunt begins, this movie gets horrifically boring.  Seriously, it's just 45 minutes of running through the woods, peppered with some occasional violence. The story really doesn't go anywhere, and the Pauly D clone leading this little pack is beyond annoying.

The ending was super super super lame.   Skip this one.  I paid $5.99 on Amazon for the Blu-Ray and it wasn't worth that.