Sunday, December 20, 2009

Wrong Turn (2003)

They really broke the bank on the casting budget for this movie.   Apparently determined to get the hottest twenty-somethings possible to be ripped apart by deformed cannibals, we've got Desmond Harrington (Chris), Eliza Dushku (Jessie), Emmanuele Chirqui (Carly), and Jeremy Sisto (Scott).

Chris is a doctor running late for an interview when he hits a major traffic jam.  Determined to find a way around the disaster, he backs up a few miles to a backwoods gas station to ask for directions.  Deterred by the hick proprietor, he quickly consults a map and decides to take a swing down Bear Mountain Road and get back onto the highway past the wreck.  Unfortunately,  he crashes into another car full of twenty-somethings stranded because of a flat tire.  Now we've got six hotties stuck in the woods of West Virginia, dumb as shit and fresh out of PowerBars.

The four main characters take off for the useless gas station while the two actors apparently not crucial to the movie stay behind and smoke pot.  We all can guess what happens to them and we get our first glimpse of the results of inbreeding and why the people of West Virginia hate stereotypes.

The merry band of wanderers comes upon a cabin where they feel there might be a phone.  And the one girl, Carly, who is obviously a few eggs short of the dozen decides it would be a good place to use the bathroom.  I despise the insinuation that women would rather use a bathroom in a random filthy backwoods cabin than just go outside.  Not only does she insist on finding the bathroom in this Deliverance-style residence but then pokes through the cabinets and such before actually doing what she came there for.

Predictably enough, there's no phone, just body parts and filth, and the deformed inbreds arrive home in the truck from Rest Stop before dipshit Carly has emerged from the bathroom.  The group splits up and hides while watching their friend from the car get prepared for a buffet.  After a fairly intelligent escape attempt, we realize it couldn't be that easy, or the movie would be over.  We get treated to a pretty fast-moving 40 minutes of the crew being chased over the mountains and through the woods. The freakin' inbreds are like gremlins though...they keep multiplying and I'll be damned if I can keep track of how many there were. 

This movie was like Hills Have Eyes + Texas Chainsaw + Deliverance.  Predictable at times, but worth a watch, especially for those who want to see Eliza kicking the shit out of mutants while wearing a wife-beater ;o)


Unknown said...

funniest review I have ever read Scream Queen!!!!!!!!!

Adrian Clyde said...

Can't believe this movie is ten years old! I really enjoyed it when I saw it. Gotta see it again.